Losing Will
by SemperSomnium
Summary: In Tortuga, surrounded by drunk and boisterous pirates, Elizabeth watches Jack and Will banter with the ease of long practice. Est. Will/Elizabeth, hinted Jack/Will, semi-AU.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or any associated items.

**Warnings:** Light established Will/Elizabeth, minor hinted Jack/Will slash or pre-slash. Excessive drinking, mentions of bar-room brawls and is set as an AU somewhere after the first movie.

I hope you enjoy!

~.o.0.o.~

Losing Will

_or_

The Eagerly Awaited, Somehow Missed, Long Overdue but Surprisingly Bittersweet Growth of William Turner and Elizabeth Swann

~.o.0.o.~

The tavern was loud with the roar of insane pirates committing insane, drunken acts that tended to result in smashed furniture or an all-out brawl. The heat from so many bodies was stifling, denying the cold night air that swirled inside every time the door opened, and the stench from so many unwashed men mixed sickeningly with the sweet, cloying smell of the alcohol that was served in liberal amounts and, more often than not, seemed to wind up coating the floor in a sticky, slippery layer.

Elizabeth supposed she should be used to it by now, seeing as Tortuga was a regular port-of-call for both her _Dancing Maria_ and the _Black Pearl_, and one of the few places that she could safely meet up with her fiancé. Serving on two different ships was hardly conductive to a long term relationship, and in the last year she had only seen Will five times. But, she mused, her life on the high seas was fulfilling and despite the odd pang of loneliness she was more than content roaming the world with Anamaria and their ship full of swashbuckling women.

Either way, it was she who had enforced the separate lives they now led, as she was the one to bow to her need for adventure and independence; a break from what her life had always been like. She had wanted something _different,_ something _more,_ and she had found that something for herself, by herself. It was a glorious feeling, to be the master of one's destiny, and even though it resulted in her distance from Will, she wouldn't change it for the world. She loved her life now, and Will's absence was an intrinsic part of that.

Raiding and pillaging, stealing and drinking; her life was dark and consisted of few of the luxuries that she was accustomed to, but that was alright. She had gained adventure, and a sense of camaraderie that stretched across the globe. It was amazing, and more than she had ever dared hope for.

But still, she mused as she drunk her cheap rum and watched the pair across from her, the life that she was living did have its downsides.

Jack and Will were bickering, tossing words back and forth in an easy banter that spoke of long practice. Jack's sentences were confusing, more often than not, and the topics random. Will used sarcasm and a lot of eye-rolling to discount the majority of Jack's increasingly slurred claims, gulping his own rum when Jack said something particularly complex and keeping a wary eye on Jack's wildly flailing hands and sloshing drink. Jack seemed oblivious to the spilt amber liquid, which wasn't surprising since they had been there for several hours already and he was on his seventh tankard – at least. God knew how many he'd had before she arrived.

In comparison, Will had only had a few, and herself even fewer, but it was enough to give her a buzz, and leant everything a warmth that made it easy to sit here and watch the two of them; close in a way she hadn't imagined was possible when she had sent Will to the _Pearl_ to undertake an illegal life of pirating.

It made her sort of wistful, watching Will; his face was flushed lightly with the cloying heat of the tavern and the rum, and his posture was relaxed as he sprawled, all loose limbs and long legs, across the wooden chair. His aim, when he stuck a callused, tanned finger into Jack's chest, trying to illustrate a point, was only slightly off centre and had enough force to make the other man sway alarmingly. Watching this man, her fiancé, so utterly and _obviously_, happy – well.

It made her chest ache for the boy who had once been completely and unhesitantly devoted to _her,_ and _only_ to her.

Selfish, she knew, but she had always been a selfish little girl wrapped up in tales of pirates; of ships that sailed the world, of men who escaped entire fleets, of creatures that were more mythical than a ship with black sails, and of a freedom forever beyond her reach.

She'd grown up now, but still, she had that same desire to grab everything she wanted in her greedy little hands and clutch them all to her chest, to keep them there and never let them go. She _wanted_ Will; wanted him like she'd had him before she'd let him go, and, oh, the irony was devastating.

She snorted into her rum, bitter amusement clouding her thoughts.

"Elizabeth?"

She looked up, only to find both men looking at her. Will's brow was furrowed with concern, his chocolate eyes warm. If it had been a year ago she would have reached up to smooth away the crinkles in his forehead, but she didn't now.

Jack was staring at her too, but his eyes were deep and unreadable. She had never liked looking into them for too long, because they seemed too quiet, too steady for the rest of his manner. It was the same now; his eyes held her in a serious regard that belied his drunken state. She wondered, briefly, if it was only her that perceived his eyes thus – Will had certainly given no indication that he found Jack's gaze disconcerting.

Shaking her head to clear her muddled thoughts, Elizabeth smiled, slightly, a real one despite what she had been so recently thinking.

"I'm fine, just some odd thoughts – I must've had too much to drink. I think I'll leave now, give Anamaria a break from mother-henning the crew." Most of which were drunk off their faces and still managing to drop overly forward men.

Will was smiling, amused – it made her heart clench slightly.

"T'were nice to see ye again, 'Lizabeth," Jack said, words horribly slurred. His eyes didn't waver though.

"Yes, of course," she murmured back, smiling softly. Any time spent with Jack was exciting, despite her personal reservations on the man's true character, and Elizabeth had found that she lived for excitement these days. She turned back to look at Will directly. "I'll see you tomorrow at some stage?"

She hated herself for the slight plea that slipped into her words.

Will's brow furrowed again, but he said immediately, "Of course." He glanced at Jack, meeting the man's gaze in an easy look that conveyed something she wasn't privy to. "We should be here a few more days, at least," he said, turning back to her.

She nodded, smiling again – always smiling – and rose. Will stood with her and circled the table, coming close and brushing a kiss against her lips. He smelt of the sea; of salt and weathered wood, of canvas and wide open spaces. Below that was his distinctive musk, and while his lips brushed hers in a chaste gesture she breathed him in and pretended that he was still hers and that she hadn't given him to the man that watched them with his piercing gaze.

He pulled back after a moment and she smiled again, nodded to them both, then turned and left. She thought for a moment that Will would offer to escort her back to the _Maria,_ but he didn't, and she cursed herself for snapping at him months ago that 'I _don't_ need a protector, Will – I'm fully capable of escorting myself somewhere, thank you.'

She heard, dimly over the energetic roar of the many drunk pirates, Will's chair scrape back as he reseated himself, and then Jack murmur something too low for her to hear.

Will's exasperated, _"Jack!_" followed her into the cold night air, and left her smiling bitterly up at the impartial stars.

She loved her life now. She finally had the freedom and adventure she had always yearned for, and she had done it by herself, for herself. She had proven, along with the other women in her crew, that a pirate of the female persuasion could still be as ruthless and tied to the sea and her whims as any man. She had _earned _her independence, and her right to live the life _she_ wanted.

But that didn't mean that she didn't get lonely sometimes, and wish that Will was still the Blacksmith's apprentice, the boy she had rescued from the sea and the boy that was hopelessly devoted to her and only her. He'd grown into a man without her watching, while she was busy elsewhere becoming her own woman and finding her own destiny.

She didn't need him anymore, no matter how much she might want him – had never needed him, really. And neither did he need her now that he was sailing on the ship with black sails next to a captain that was as crazy as he was brilliant. Will didn't need her, and they both knew it.

Her and Will were as good as over, but she wasn't quite ready to release her last claim to him. Maybe next time she'd be finally ready to give up a man who wasn't hers, and hadn't been for months.

Elizabeth sighed, her breath fogging up before her, and started off along the cobblestone streets, ignoring the rowdy shenanigans occurring all around her. Down at the wharves she could see the _Maria_, all sleek lines and subtle grace. She was smaller than the _Pearl_, which was docked a small distance away, and didn't possess that same otherworldly feel – but Elizabeth felt a happy possessiveness bubble up within her anyway and a true smile curve her lips sweetly.

~.o.0.o.~

**A/N: **There you go, that's that. Just something I felt like writing; I really do like Elizabeth as a character and the strength and natural resilience she shows – hence the whole independent crew of female pirates thing. I thought that once Jack got around to giving Anamaria the ship he owes her, her and Elizabeth could team up and take the seven seas by storm. XD

I really do hope you enjoyed my fic.

**Authors Request: **Please leave a review; any and all comments are much appreciated. ^.^


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